“Prince Charming, my Angel, my King and my Friend, my Lover, my One, He is, He is". The lyrics to one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite singers, Brandy. A song that almost perfectly captures the feelings I have for my husband. I can not play this beautifully written record for him, though. I would return to his playful banter, jokes about Brandy, and a declaration of how much he does not like her voice. Rather than a pressing matter to him, this is just another one of the ways he teases me and keeps our union youthful. Bringing a much-needed sense of joy, an air of peace, and a dash of light-heartedness to a heavy and tense world. That's just one of the things that continue to attract me to him. After all, we have known each other for over half of our lives. Granting me the opportunity to meet different versions of him. With each version, I found love and as I watched him grow and even struggle, I have learned to appreciate all that he is and all he assiduously strives to be.
My husband taught me the meaning of “true love”. True love was something I desired long before I was able to comprehend what it meant. However, in the time I spent with my husband I have learned the ins and outs of “true love”. He taught me that true love is to love without unrealistic expectations. To understand and cater to your partner’s “humanness”. To understand that there is no human without flaws. He chooses to meet me by catering to that humanness and leaning in to support me. Even in his moments of despair and frustration, as he is only human himself, he has grasped the importance of empathy and compassion, allowing me the opportunity to figure out and work on myself as the years go by. In those moments, I have even questioned his actions. “How could he be so understanding?”, “How did we get here?” But through his actions, I have discovered that learning to love someone means giving them enough grace to find themselves and work towards growth that they are innately entitled to.
I have also seen him implement these actions in his own life. It is that level of self-awareness that I respect. These characteristics have allowed him to grow immensely and choose to heal. They've allowed him to create a narrative for himself that is working on removing him from the pain of his past and fostering new love, light, hope, and opportunity for many generations to come. This is another reason I have continued to be equally attractive to him, as I am proud of him. I have seen him struggle to make many hard decisions to walk away from habits, mindsets, people, or things that he was comfortable with. Yet, in his perseverance and determination to always be greater, he continues to make it happen. Serving as more than a partner and lover to me but a real-time and real-life inspiration.
Time and time again, he chooses to push through all of life’s discomfort and love himself enough to nurture the exceptional man he is. He often says he cannot take compliments, as he is not pleased with all he has done yet and “has so much more work to do”. That is until he once again learned to self-reflect and love himself enough to accept and acknowledge his worthiness of many things. It is his journey that is so motivating to me. I feel honored to have been invited to take part in it because choosing to spend your life with and love an individual, in all capacities is to take a gamble. To take a shot in the dark when you can never guarantee the outcome and we are blessed enough to continue to choose each other. Loving, accepting, and growing beyond all of life’s hardships. Even in times of doubt, my choice isn't too hard to make as he somehow charmingly continues to string up creative ways for me to keep falling in love with him.
For all that he is, I will continue to take the fall.